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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?